"A Party That Never Stops": Designing Digital Third Places for Young People's Friendships on Discord

Abstract

Third places---informal settings where relationships grow through repeated casual contact---are increasingly inaccessible to young people. Prior work shows that virtual third places exist, but little is known about how persistent settings and control over participation work together as relationships form. We interviewed 25 active Discord users ages 15--24 who had reported forming at least one friendship on the platform. Their accounts highlighted two conditions that worked together. Persistent, socially legible servers let them return to the same community, recognize others, and build shared histories and norms. Controllable presence let them observe, participate, deepen a relationship, or withdraw while managing visibility, identity, and commitment. Graduated visibility was especially important for cautious entry and identity exploration. We translate these findings into design principles, showing how each can support some of Oldenburg's third-place functions while creating tensions with others. These findings suggest that persistent digital communities can complement increasingly scarce physical third places by giving young people recurring, low-pressure opportunities for social connection.